| This is not
a joke. A student actually wrote to us and we wrote this
phony-baloney thesis. The cheating little vixen turned it in as
her own work and the moron teacher actually gave her an "A" grade
on the paper. |
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Why study? |
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Dr. Cook helps you cheat
your way through school just like Dr. Cook cheated his way through
life! Its as easy as boiling water!!!
You write to
Fred...and Fred writes your term paper for you! |
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A+ on school project using
bogus Fred story!
Here is how Dr. Cook helped Kathleen turn in a
phony term paper. She asked Fred the questions, and Fred wrote her
a typical (phony) Dr. Cook story. Kathleen then took the text out
of email and printed it for her school project. Easy! Even you
could do it. Dr. Cook knows that teachers are just as gullible
as the public. Dr. Cook learned this many times during his career
as a con artist. So why waste time studying? Let Dr. Crook get
you through school. |
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| Here is how she cheated! |
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From: "Kathleen Keane" <k.keane@worldnet.att.net>
January 18, 2002
Q. I have a project on Frederick Albert Cook for school and I was
wondering if you could answer some of my questions. Will
you write my paper for me Dr. Cook? I have so little time to watch
TV, shop at the mall and talk on my cell phone with my
girlfriends. You're in prison and have nothing better to do,
right?
A.
I am happy to help a student. Yes, I have lots of time on my
hands. Do you have any money?
Here are the questions:
Q. What was Frederick Cook's plan for his explorations?
A.
To see if he could find a path over land to the North Pole by a
previously unexplored region that held great promise. If not, then
to discover some body of land to name after his backer. He
found a large floating ice island that brought him most of the way
to the Pole, and it passed by the body of land he discovered and
photographed. He named it in memory of his dear friend "Crocker
Land". But his mean and wealthy backer, Bradley, insisted he
change the name to Bradley land - by which it is still known
today.
Q. What did he use for transportation, shelter,
clothing and food?
A. Boreal pygmies, as they were then called, pulled his
boat/tent/sled - an invention he made to reach the Pole. The base
was made of light weight aluminum and it had pontoons made of
walrus bladders to float. The upper was a silk tent.
He wore thermal underwear and had a fur parka with pouches large
enough to carry the puppies of the dogs that were born during the
journey - this was another of his inventions to keep him warm. It
worked, although the puppies frequently soiled the pouches so he
lined them with seal skin that could be removed and scrapped off.
He ate pemmican and frozen peas (carbohydrate source) with the
occasional dog they had to roast. This may sound cruel but the
dogs often died and had to be recycled as food. There was no pizza
delivery in those days, you know?
Q. What tools did he use to navigate?
A. Compass, GPS, and a theodolite. The theodolite was too heavy and
he had to abandon it. He also carried a barometer and sextant but
did not need them. At the Pole he used one of the Eskimos as a
sundial to verify that the length of a shadow was constant. That
proved he was at the Pole.
Q. What supplies did he take with him on his
explorations?
A.
Lots and lots of pemmican. That is a dried meat of penguin with
beef fat and fruit in a can. Very high in calories. He had a
rifle, ice axes, a folding boat, a silk tent, extra furs clothing,
extra seal skin boots, his books, diary, spare sleds, and extra
boreal pygmy Eskimos to pull and help the dogs. He also carried
his bible, instruments, and a fertile imagination that got him out
of a lot of tight spots.
These were the questions. Please send me the
answers A.S.A.P.
A. No problem. Anything to help a student of Dr. Cook.
Thanks!
My pleasure.
-----------------------------------------
"If Fred could fake it, we can fake it, too!"
Wally Brawlins
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Part 2—She wants more... |
"Kathleen Keane" <k.keane@worldnet.att.net>
I have a question about Fred Cook.
Here it is: What was the stragy of his explorations?
Please write back A.S.A.P.
My paper is due Friday.
Thanks!!!!!!! |
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Q. That is a very excellent question. What was his stragy?
A.
Well, Cook was very much loved by the Eskimos, or boreal pygmies as
they were called. By the way, Eskimo was spelled esquimaux then. Today
we call them Inuit. Whatever. Dr. Cook called them his dear friends.
Dr. Cook knew that there were herds of caribou (like reindeer) on the
north west area of Ellesmere Island. The Eskimos had told him about
this. They never told Peary or his Negro servant because they were
afraid Peary would kill too many of them for food, thus depleting the
area of their food reserves.
Dr. Cook also knew that there was evidence that the Arctic Ocean
currents, on the north west of Ellesmere, flowed north to go around
the tip of Ellesmere. From there it was known that the currents moved
the ice south down the channel between Greenland and Ellesmere. Peary
always fought these currents trying to drive the ship, paid for by his
wealthy (and greedy) backers, north to overwinter. From there he
always tried (and failed) to reach the Pole. (The backers were a kind
of rich man's private hunting club. They sort of "owned" the area and
used it as their private big game hunting club. They shot all the
polar bears for rugs, stole the walrus tusks for trophies, etc.)
"Ah, Ha!" Thought the young doctor—this meant that there was meat to
hunt (caribou) that Peary and his Negro had not over harvested on the
north west coast of Ellesmere. So he knew he could get many Eskimos to
go with him to collect all the caribou he would shoot. (He had guns
and they didn't). Also there were musk ox there and musk ox meat is
like the best tender steak to eat. The fur is the warmest for pants
and other uses.
Most important was the stragy that he could then get the boreal
pygmies to load his equipment and boat/tent on the huge ice islands
that floated by. He knew he could load them with meat so they could
use the natural currents to travel north. This was not an unknown
idea. Only Cook had thought to try it.
Dr. Cook was very studious and knew about a man named Nansen who
almost reached the Pole (and got Peary mad!) just by letting his ship,
the Fram, travel with the currents to the Pole. He got about 170 miles
from the Pole this way! But while Peary was only jealous of Nansen,
Cook knew he could make use of this knowledge to his advantage. Why
not drift to the pole on a big iceberg with all his equipment he
thought?
The Eskimos went with Dr. Cook and they shot a large number of caribou
and musk ox. I recall it was about 96 musk ox. Now those are big
cattle like animals so you can imagine how much meat that was. And
good to eat, too! The caribou skins were used for the best blankets,
coats, and even sleeping bags. The Eskimos were very happy with Dr.
Cook for supplying all this meat and useful furs.
Then they loaded tons of the musk ox and caribou meat (frozen hard) on
the floating ice islands that went by the west coast of Ellesmere. Dr.
Cook had plenty of food, well fed dogs and Eskimos and they were able
to move north with very little effort. It was sort of a free ride.
Eventually they went by Bradley Land, which he discovered, and saw
tracks of game like foxes. Today it is believed that Bradley Land
(also known as Crocker land) could have been another ice island with
rocks and dirt on it to look like land. As strange as this sounds it
is fact. Thick ice near shore sometimes scrapes the bottom and picks
up boulders, etc. Later this ice can be flipped over from the
upheavals known as pressure ridges, yet still have dirt and rocks all
over it. The arctic is a weird place!
When Cook's ice island stopped traveling north he was near to the Pole
and they took the food and dog sleds to start out over the ice on
foot. They had open water to cross sometimes and used Cook's canvas
boat. This he had waterproofed with walrus grease and had inflatable
walrus bladders to keep it up with the weight of his crew.
Peary never used boats and was often stopped by open water. Many polar
historians and polar scholars believe this is why Peary was unable to
reach the Pole. Most historians think Peary did not get to the Pole,
and had to lie about it when he learned that Cook had been successful.
His Negro servant never actually knew the truth as he only broke trail
for Peary. Peary simply told him they had reached the Pole and he was
so happy he believed it for the rest of his life. Only recently has
this been proven by a librarian in Maryland named Robert Bryce. He is
considered the leading expert in the world.
Coming back Dr. cook ran out of meat and had a very hard time finding
land because of the currents around Ellesmere Island. That is why he
had to go so far south to get to land at Cape Sparbo. From there he
got his Eskimo friends to help him. He was able to get to a boat going
to Europe from Greenland. The world then learned that he had reached
the Pole.
A daring plan! And the clever doctor pulled it off. Peary was made
such a fool that his powerful backers tried to destroy Dr, Cook with
lies in the newspaper. They called it the "Polar Controversy". Only
today we know what really happened.
I have to go. Hope this is helpful to you.
Good luck!
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"If Fred could fake it, we can fake it, too!"
Wally Brawlins
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© 2001 Rusty Robinson and Dr. Cook |
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